7/8/18
Hello Advicer? I hope this is the right email address. Anyways, I firstly wanted to begin my email with a compliment. I really like your blog and I think it's weird that more people aren't as interested in this. But, I'm sure you get a lot of one-on-one emails instead of public ones. OK I'm just going to jump right in to what I'm going to say.
I don't know how to explain this. My parents divorced when I was 6. In total, I've lived in 11 different houses and apartments. I've been to 8 different schools.
Let's just start from after my parents divorced. My Mom filed for full custody, but lost. She did get main custody, meaning I lived with her and went to school in that district. Not that I stayed at schools very long.
My first house with her I don't remember. My first house at my Dad's I don't really remember either.
I stayed at the house with my Mom for 1 year, and my Dad's for 2.
Before they divorced we lived in 5 different houses, btw.
My Mom remarried to one of her best male friends, Greg. He had 2 kids I basically grew up with, MiKayla and Emilio. Long story short, Greg died when I was 13. We lived in 3 houses with him and his kids. I lived in one apt with my Dad, and when I was 11 we moved into my Dad's girlfriends house.
Now, we live in a trailer with just my mom and my 2 siblings, Steve and Zoe. We still live 30 minutes away at my Dad's girlfriend's house.
Since Greg's death, my Mom has been losing a ton of weight. She's gotten down to my size. I was really close to Greg and his kids, so this death was hard on me. I starting binge eating.
I'm now 184 lbs, and my Mom is 180 lbs. All the time, she acts like I'm some huge, ugly, obese monster. She cleans out her closet and gives me all her big clothes, even though we are the same size.
We both wear 12s, but she buys by 16s and sometimes 18s. She is just so mean and controlling and she caused me to have mental disorders, including depression and anxiety.
She makes me do all the household chores, including fold her laundry and wash her dishes and make her bed. No help whatsoever from anyone.
She "works" a lot so I'm left home to watch Zoe and Steve, 11 and 13. It really stinks.
Not only do I have to watch them, and feed them with the little food she buys for us, but I have to get them ready for bed and wake them up for school.
She buys herself "healthy snacks" and gets us very little. She also eats our only snacks, saying "I pay for it I can eat it!"
I also have to walk 3 miles to school all uphill. It starts at 7:30, so I have to leave at 6, and wake my siblings up as I leave. I get up at 5:30.
Not only do my clothes not fit but they're ugly. This causes teasing at school. I only have one friend, but she never listens to anything I have to say. She's faked a suicide attempt before, for attention, and every time I bring something up about me, guess where the conversation goes? Oh, woe is me. Pity me. Give me sympathy.
I see my Dad 2x a week and I love going their. He is forced to drive there and back since my Mom won't. He is also forced to pay 300 dollars every 2 weeks for child support. My Mom does not use it for us, though. Instead of buying me new clothes. I'm grateful that I'm alive and everything, but is this worthy of complaining?
What do I do?
~Katelyn, 16, USA
Dear Katelyn,
Thank you for the kind words. I am sympathetic for your situation, and yes, that is worthy of complaints. Don't worry, there is no judgement here at Advicer.
This may be hard for you, but try communicating with your mom. If she doesn't listen, speak your concerns to your father. If he is in communication with your mom, maybe he can prove your point.
If this still doesn't work talk to your guidance counselor. Not only can he help you through this situation, but he can call home and explain to your mother, nicely, and voice your concerns.
If this still doesn't work, ask your father to set up a court hearing. This may be extreme, but provide them with evidence of the cruel treatment.
Your mother can be sentenced with child neglect, and she can lose full custody of you.
I am sorry that you are going through this. Especially at such a young age. You should be allowed to live your life.
Take pictures, take videos. Collect evidence. Your mother, no offense, is neglecting you and your siblings. Take action Katelyn.
~Advicer
Hello Advicer? I hope this is the right email address. Anyways, I firstly wanted to begin my email with a compliment. I really like your blog and I think it's weird that more people aren't as interested in this. But, I'm sure you get a lot of one-on-one emails instead of public ones. OK I'm just going to jump right in to what I'm going to say.
I don't know how to explain this. My parents divorced when I was 6. In total, I've lived in 11 different houses and apartments. I've been to 8 different schools.
Let's just start from after my parents divorced. My Mom filed for full custody, but lost. She did get main custody, meaning I lived with her and went to school in that district. Not that I stayed at schools very long.
My first house with her I don't remember. My first house at my Dad's I don't really remember either.
I stayed at the house with my Mom for 1 year, and my Dad's for 2.
Before they divorced we lived in 5 different houses, btw.
My Mom remarried to one of her best male friends, Greg. He had 2 kids I basically grew up with, MiKayla and Emilio. Long story short, Greg died when I was 13. We lived in 3 houses with him and his kids. I lived in one apt with my Dad, and when I was 11 we moved into my Dad's girlfriends house.
Now, we live in a trailer with just my mom and my 2 siblings, Steve and Zoe. We still live 30 minutes away at my Dad's girlfriend's house.
Since Greg's death, my Mom has been losing a ton of weight. She's gotten down to my size. I was really close to Greg and his kids, so this death was hard on me. I starting binge eating.
I'm now 184 lbs, and my Mom is 180 lbs. All the time, she acts like I'm some huge, ugly, obese monster. She cleans out her closet and gives me all her big clothes, even though we are the same size.
We both wear 12s, but she buys by 16s and sometimes 18s. She is just so mean and controlling and she caused me to have mental disorders, including depression and anxiety.
She makes me do all the household chores, including fold her laundry and wash her dishes and make her bed. No help whatsoever from anyone.
She "works" a lot so I'm left home to watch Zoe and Steve, 11 and 13. It really stinks.
Not only do I have to watch them, and feed them with the little food she buys for us, but I have to get them ready for bed and wake them up for school.
She buys herself "healthy snacks" and gets us very little. She also eats our only snacks, saying "I pay for it I can eat it!"
I also have to walk 3 miles to school all uphill. It starts at 7:30, so I have to leave at 6, and wake my siblings up as I leave. I get up at 5:30.
Not only do my clothes not fit but they're ugly. This causes teasing at school. I only have one friend, but she never listens to anything I have to say. She's faked a suicide attempt before, for attention, and every time I bring something up about me, guess where the conversation goes? Oh, woe is me. Pity me. Give me sympathy.
I see my Dad 2x a week and I love going their. He is forced to drive there and back since my Mom won't. He is also forced to pay 300 dollars every 2 weeks for child support. My Mom does not use it for us, though. Instead of buying me new clothes. I'm grateful that I'm alive and everything, but is this worthy of complaining?
What do I do?
~Katelyn, 16, USA
Dear Katelyn,
Thank you for the kind words. I am sympathetic for your situation, and yes, that is worthy of complaints. Don't worry, there is no judgement here at Advicer.
This may be hard for you, but try communicating with your mom. If she doesn't listen, speak your concerns to your father. If he is in communication with your mom, maybe he can prove your point.
If this still doesn't work talk to your guidance counselor. Not only can he help you through this situation, but he can call home and explain to your mother, nicely, and voice your concerns.
If this still doesn't work, ask your father to set up a court hearing. This may be extreme, but provide them with evidence of the cruel treatment.
Your mother can be sentenced with child neglect, and she can lose full custody of you.
I am sorry that you are going through this. Especially at such a young age. You should be allowed to live your life.
Take pictures, take videos. Collect evidence. Your mother, no offense, is neglecting you and your siblings. Take action Katelyn.
~Advicer
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